Do you know what advice to give someone who desires to be in a relationship? Most of us don’t. In our culture of independence and freedom, speaking into someone’s life might seem inappropriate and intrusive. But what about the people that are closest to us–where it is appropriate—and are you confident in the relationship advice you give? Or maybe you think: “Been there, done that–not my problem.”
Home sweet home
Let’s say that you are 48 years-old, happily married, with one child finishing high school, and the other having one more year of college. You have one surviving parent that lives nearby, and your in-laws live out of state. You’ve worked hard, loved much, and have much to show for it.
So what interest would you have in learning about relationships and dating?
Now, imagine your daughter’s infatuated with some guy she met at a school dance; your son is spending nights outside of his dorm room, and your mom took-up dancing with some guy she met in her retirement community. In a moment’s time, everything you’ve invested in is becoming divested.
Mom might lose everything, including your inheritance, to some late-in-life stranger; your son had to quit college and started working full-time to support his girlfriend and your unexpected grandchild; and your daughter is seeing a therapist from experiencing an intimate relationship that she was not prepared to enter in to.
Unless you can offer more than a hope and a prayer, you might find yourself running away to live with your in-laws—and situations like this happen all the time.
We invest in every kind of education, except the one that’s pivotal to most everything else—our relationships. I too am a recipient of generations of people not knowing what to say and assumed I would learn just like they had to—the hard way. Through the process, I have caused much pain and suffering that has a ripple effect far beyond my comprehension. I too didn’t know what to say to those closest to me; I also was never taught.
We assume that everyone is either lucky or naturally intuitive when it comes to understanding dating and relationships. Well, guess what? We are mostly neither, yet we allow those closest to us to risk it all on chance and let everyone pay the consequences of our ignorance.
Clint Eastwood once asked in the movie, Dirty Harry, “ Do you feel lucky?”
Well happily married couple, do you? Is it okay to leave it all to chance?
Do you think we are misled in the placement of our priorities?
Should we be doing a better job at understanding the things that matter most?
Please share your thoughts